Monday, April 6, 2009

Do You Kiss Your Momma With That Mouth?

Last minute grocery shopping seems to be a hobby of mine. It never fails that when it comes time to planning, arranging, chopping, and dicing supper, I need some key ingredient. Friday's meal was no different, so off to the grocers I went.

I think Friday's theme for me was casual. I was casually dressed in Capri style jeans and a short-sleeved, black turtle neck. My hair was casually held in a black pony tail. The vehicle I drove to the grocer's was an adorable, but casually styled black Amigo, and my money was stuffed into my pocket as I casually strode across the parking lot headed towards the door that led into the grocers. Yes, and the young man at the estimated age of 17-18 years just casually, with a smile on his face, gave me the finger.

Oh no he didn'!

Oh yes, he did.

And it wasn't a quick flash of that middle finger. It was a long, drawn-out, swiped across the air like a grand gesture middle finger. No, it wasn't the digging in your nose accidental flip off. He was really flipping me off. AND grinning while he did it. Well, let me tell you...he picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. Although Friday's theme was casual, I was still stewing over a "conversation" I had with Miss. Saucy Pants Teenager, and let me tell you, my stew not only had meat and potatoes, it had carrots, onions, AND garlic. So, when Mr. I'm Going to Flip You Off, flipped me off, I was pissed off.

Anyway, I casually followed Mr. Flip Off into the grocer, and while he waited in line to cash his check I tapped his shoulder.

Tap, tap. "Excuse me? Mr. Flip Off?" smiling like a casual shopper smiles.

"Yes?" Turning with a small smile sealed to his face.

"Did you just flip me off" Questioned the casual shopper.

"No," laughed Mr. Flip Off, "I was flippin off one of my friends."

"Ah," commented casual shopper, "well, next time make sure I'm not standing in between your friend and your flip off, because frankly, I was in direct line of sight of your flip off."

"No,' exclaims Mr. Flip Off. "It was at my cousin." He turns away and mutters, "God damn."

Smiling casually, "No, I don't think God had anything to do with it.

Don't even think Mr. Flip Off even said that he was sorry. Would I have been appeased by an apology? And what made him bring God into it? What did God have to do with it anyway?

Could this have been a result of extremely bad manners, poor upbringing, following the example set by peers, or just general teenage male behavior? I know that when I was his age, the fear of my momma finding out I had done something like that in public, much less use the "G.D." word, would have been enough to keep my middle finger in place, where it belonged. And let me tell you, she would have found out before I would have made it back out of the grocer's door. Not only would she have found out, but I would have more than likely been smacked a good one by the receiver of my finger.

It amazes me how society has changed. And frankly, I can hear some of you muttering in the background saying, "Shee, that ain't nothin. You need to come to my neighborhood." And you know, you're probably right. In an age where young girls roam the street wearing shorts that look like underwear, guys listen to songs that brag about rape (yes, someone was blaring these very lyrics from his car stereo letting the whole parking lot listen how he likes to rape his bitch and then get his game on), and the list goes on...I can't even begin to describe, and you probably already know more than even I know, our teens are getting educated. Whether you home school or public school, they are still being exposed to all of that "crap." And I know, I know, you've got to teach your children well. OH, and I am, trust me. IF my littles ever...and I mean..EVER behaved in such a manner and EYE found out, there would be more than hell to pay.

But I'm no fool. I've been a public educator long enough to know that there are good families that teach good behaviors and end up with good kids...and sometimes they don't. There are "bad" families, that don't teach any expected behaviors, and end up with "bad" kids...and sometimes they don't. Sometimes its luck of the draw...sometimes its what is taught at home...sometimes its do what I say not what I do...sometimes it's just throw it all in the pot and hope you get soup.

All I know is that that kid on Friday REALLY pissed me off.

61 comments:

  1. My point exactly.

    Your Friday thing was as much about Courage as Casual.
    You had Courage down pat.
    Of course; a little Crazy might help, and you WERE Last Minute Shopping...
    Jus' saying - only crazy people do that.

    I would have bawked at approaching Mr F.O., but I would have steamed (and Blogged. It. Out.)

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  2. People just don't have manners anymore. I tell my kids people are down right crazy these day.

    Today I'm having a recipe swap if you would like to come over and visit.

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  3. Ms. Savant,

    As I surveyed the chicken parts in the meat department, I asked myself, "What in the hell were you thinking???"

    It must have been the PMS.

    Anissa,

    I think I was the one who was a bit crazy that day!

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  4. Good for you for confronting Mr. Flip Off. And I agree with what you said about good/bad parents and good/bad kids. It can all seem very random. All we can do as parents is teach our children as best we can and hope for the best!

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  5. Hiya! thanks for stopping by my page via SITS. Don't ya just love smartass kids who think they are soooooo effin cute nowadays! You went easy on him , I probably would have followed him home and told his parents and seen how 'cool' he is getting grounded. Dumbass. I'll be sure to stop by here when I can ;)

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  6. I know, right? What is it with some kids these days? I would like to think their parents would be completely shocked if they could see how their kids behave when they're not around but then again, maybe those parents could care less and that's why those kids behave like that.

    I'm glad you confronted him....he needed someone to put him in his place.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today!!

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  7. Heck I'm just impressed that you called him on his action. And while not being overly religious, I agree what did God have to do with his poor manners and stupidity. Geesh!

    We have definitely become a desensitized society. Have we exchanged it for smarter more savvy younger children? I would hate to think so

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  8. I'm a little horrified at the lack of manners these days. The neighborhood kids shock me on a daily basis. I'll explain that it's time for my son to come in and I'm met with "WHY? It's not DARK yet." Uh. Because unlike you, my kids actually have RULES you little pissant. Of course I don't call them pissants because that would only add to the no manners thing. I just think it.

    But honestly, these kids are RUDE.

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  9. What a great post.
    Thanks for visiting my blog a few days back...and my son is really OK being the only boy with 4 sisters.
    He is the little king...and truly adores his sisters.
    He has doted on his new baby sis, since we took her home 8mts ago...
    Some say he will make a terrific husband..lets hope so:)
    Hope that answers your question...sorry it took so long:(
    Annmarie

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  10. You get em! I would have been totally appalled but then just not said anything. I'm such a wimp :(

    Thanks for coming over on my SITS day!

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  11. I would have been crazy myself ..And your right -teenagers have no morals anymore !! You should have told him Thanks for letting me know I was # 1 . LMAO

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  12. Are you even kidding me? I have to say that I'm pretty impressed with your tap tap and call out, my friend.

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  13. I think many teens are oblivious to their bad behavior. But I do think that, for most of them, as they grow up they outgrow it. Somehow I think it's their way of trying to be "grown up".

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  14. I wouldn't let something like that get to me. I would just assume he was doing it to someone else and chalk it up to stupid teen behavior. As for an apology from him, in his mine he probably figured he did apologize by letting you know it was for his cousin and not you. I would never have bothered to follow and confront him about it. He could have had a gun and shot you! These days, things are so crazy!

    Congrats on your SITS day!

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  15. Haha, I'm picturing you...minding your own...and then some kid flips you off! It's almost like you have to say something, lest anyone watching would think you are a sucker. I know I would have, too. Of course, only if it was in my town, my neighborhood. Karen is right, if you're not familiar with the area, it's best to keep your lips zipped...and pretend he did it to someone else. A can of tomato sauce just isn't worth a bullet in the chest.

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  16. Ah, you have the "switch" I have! It doesn't flip much, but once in awhile I just have to stand up for myself. I usually think about the consequences later. Good for you!

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  17. Good for you, confronting him! I would've let it bother me all day. That's awesome.

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  18. How irritating! Hooray for calling him out on it!

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  19. I think parents take too little responsibility for their kids. It is not the job of teachers to teach your child basic discipline and a positive attitude - it is yours as a parent.

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  20. LOL, I'd say you handeled it well. This person left with his fingers in tact and somehthing to think about. Well one out of two ain't bad. Funny story. Keri

    www.spitnglue.com
    www.samwich365.com

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  21. ha! i love this line: "my stew not only had meat and potatoes, it had carrots, onions, AND garlic."

    Happy SITS Day! I enjoyed reading your blog!

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  22. No apology? Unbelievable! Enjoy the rest of your SITS Day!

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  23. I don't care how fuddy-duddyish I sound when I proclaim: Kids These Days!

    I'm glad the incident didn't escalate.

    I cannot STAND "young men" who already have no respect for women.

    On a lighter note, congrats on your SITS day. :o)

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  24. I am so with you on this subject. Never would I have dreamed of doing something like that - and so opening. My parents taught me better. Wish society would straighten up and start realizing that no boundaries, no right /wrong, no discipline makes for total chaos. Then those who don't like any of the above and think kids need to be left alone to make their own decision and be adults by the time they turn eight - well, then they complain when the chaos is happening. Geesh!

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  25. He most likely learned it from his parents. Quite often I see adults driving around flipping each other off with children in the backseat.
    But if you want to see scary, you have only to check out YouTube....and some of the mommy blogs. It seams video taping your child cussing a blue streak or dancing to and / or singing the lyrics to "gangsta rap", etc. is the new entertainment of the younger parents out there.
    I thought the world was a scary place when I was a young kid. Little did I know how much worse it would get.
    But I credit and applaud you for saying / doing something. I would have just passed him off as another looser (which he was) and let it go.

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  26. Good idea to talk to him about it. Honestly, it probably never occurred to his still-developing brain that other people might be paying attention and they might not find it funny.

    You cleared that up for him. ;-)

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  27. I like your blog! Visiting from SITs! Very Cool!!! It's almost like we are talking face to face.
    About that teen who flipped you off. Brave very brave. I don't know if I would have had the guts.I'm off to find more of your posts to read. You got it, I'm a follower!!!
    http://oneclutteredbrain.blogspot.com

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  28. Also I LOVE your header. Very Original and clever...

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  29. A lot of bad kids nowadays, from good and not-so-good families alike. My fear is my son turning up to be one of them, especially since at his age he copies things that older-cool-kids from school does. I hope love and lots of prayer can steer him away from bad manners.

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  30. Oh man. I guess I've never thought about it that way. Not that I'm in the store opening flipping off people I know (or even ones I don't). I guess I just assumed that it wasn't aimed at me and went on with my day. I guess I'm immune to the bird.

    But you're right. That *shouldn't* be happening.

    P.S. Happy SITS day. :)

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  31. AMEN! AMEN! and AMEN!

    I had the same upbringing where I knew if I got in trouble at school, it was going to be NOTHING compared to what I was going to get when I got home. Now I have heard that if a kid gets in trouble at school, oftentimes parents are coming into the school berating the teacher. Are you kidding me?

    I'm glad you said something. I used to just let these things slide and then stew about them, but ever since I started riding a motorcycle, I feel like I MUST say something. Perhaps more of us should.

    Happy SITS day!

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  32. Amen, sister! Teenagers have a blatant boldness about them these days that blows my mind. I was ALWAYS afraid of the consequences as a teenager - even when I did stupid things. And let it be known, I am the proud owner of a teenage boy (so far, so good) - and if he EVER pulled that crap and I found out? Oh, life as he knows it would suck.
    ***Ally

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  33. Good for you, for calling him "out" on his poor behavior!

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  34. I am so impressed that you said something to him. Good for you!

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  35. Good for you! I have had my own flip off moment too, except I was in the car with my kiddies. My son thought that the man was singing, "Where is Thumbkin?" and was on the Tall Man line! when I composed myself and stopped laughing about it, I realized that I had my blog for the day. :)

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  36. True, and kudos to you for confronting him and calling him out on it!

    And I think that if you threw HIM in the pot, you would get what we call Punishment Soup! (Made from the last few days of leftover veggies!) (--and meat, if you're lucky.)

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  37. Totally....but we at least should TRY!!!

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  38. Don't feel bad, I actually GOT a very well intended for me flip off from a girl in a car at the Walmart parking lot when I had the nerve to drive in the correct lane of the parking lot, going in the correct direction, and the driver was flying through the middle of the parking lot, parallel to the parking spaces, and was about to turn into my lane, going in the wrong direction, and head on into my path!

    When I saw her coming I laid on the horn and slammed on my brakes, and the passenger in her car flipped me off!!

    Growing up, my son was sometimes sassy, had an attitude, and was expressive with his opinion, but I would never have expected this kind of behavior from him - not toward me, and certainly not toward a stranger, much less an adult. I am truly concerned about this younger generation.

    Happy SITS Day - hope it was a great one!

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  39. Stopping by from SITS. I agree, my mom would have KILLED me! I live in a small town and when I was in high school I would have rather gone to the police station than home if I had done something. Mom's always know and they know RIGHT after it happens!

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  40. RIDICULOUS. This makes me so angry.

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  41. OMG! Good for you for telling that boy off! I feel like a lot of people have lost their etiquette in a public place. So on behalf of young females who end up dating those fools, thank you!

    yours truly,
    Lady Lex
    ineedprettythings.com

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  42. That attitude is so infuriating. Really. I would have been so mad.

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  43. Yeah, that is ridiculous! It also reminds me of how oblivious I was at that age, talking (read swearing) with my friends out in public completely unaware of what or who was around me!

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  44. Yikes, I don't know what I would have done. I'm passive aggressive...which actually gets me no where!!! But goodness, being a mother terrifies me for these very reasons!!! Good job for taking a stand and calling him out, he seems like a coward. I suppose that's immature on my part, but it was a friendly word.

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  45. Ooooh, I am loving that I found you through SITS. This post is so dead on for me. I am horrified by the loss of manners, respect and fear of God and parents that is rampant in our universe. Happy SITS Day to you. I'm your newest follower!!

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  46. What is up with these kids with no manners and no respect for adults? I don't remember that when I was growing up (and I'm not a dinosaur). What a pathetic boy.

    Happy SITS day!

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  47. Iwould never have had the nerve to confront someone like that BRAVO to you!

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  48. I don't care if it gets and is worse - though you are so right - that is bad enough. Since when did it become appropriate to use foul and insulting gestures and language in everyday use? It infuriates me! I was shopping at the grocery store once when I came across a patron screaming at a cashier. I calmly said to her, "You need to stop. Whatever your problem, isn't her fault." They followed me out to our car, screamed at me for a half hour, and then followed me in my car for another half hour (I didn't dare go home!). Anyway, it's terrible - there is no respect between people any longer, and everyone is only out for themselves. It sickens me. You go Mommy! And Happy Sits!

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  49. Okay, I just remembered something else I want to share, ha ha: Just the other day I was driving and I was turning left across 2 lanes of traffic and he was coming in the opposite direction turning right on the same street as me. As soon as he was halfway into the turn - and I was following directly thereafter - he started to slow down to a creep, and then once he completed the turn, and only my bumper was still in the middle of traffic, he literally stopped! I waited as he was bopping around to music in his car. Finally, I let a light beep on my horn... He put his car in park, took out the keys and got out of his car and started walking towards me with his chest puffed out. I just shook my head and said, "Oh brother" and saw, from my rear view mirror, him screaming obscenities at me! Did I do something wrong here?

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  50. LOL! A friend was just telling me today about how her mama threatened to shove a whole pack of cigarretes down her throat if she EVER caught her smoking, because raising kids was hard work, and she was damned if she was gonna watch the kid she'd put so much work into die a slow death by smoking. When did parents become afraid to be parents? Congrats on your SITS day!

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  51. Glad you spoke up rather than just lettimg it go.
    Sandra

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  52. That's cool that you talked to the guy - I'd be too chicken. And yes, I totally agree w/you - kids today have no respect & just think they can mouth off like it's no big deal. All it took was a bit of liquid soap on my one dd's tongue for her to get the message that she had to stop being so sassy! Parents need to stand up to their kids and be what they are - Parents. Enjoy your day in the SITS spotlight.

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  53. Turned away you say? Good, hopefuly he turned away because he was blushing to his roots. I hope he was shamed and not emboldened. Punk.

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  54. Good for you! Although I may have done something less assertive and more passive-aggressive. Like tripped him or keyed his car... ;-)

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  55. Well, the one thing you have to realize in this day where people in general seem to have less and less respect for each other, is that you have no control over what people think about you or how they will treat you. But, you have absolute control over how you feel. If you set your mind to feeling good and choosing thoughts that feel good, no one can take that away from you, not even smart ass little punks who think they look cool flipping the bird for the world to see. Your story has inspired me, next time someone flips me off, I'm gonna blow them a kiss ;)

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  56. Society as a whole keeps turning a blind eye to all the disrespect. When will it end? Worse yet, where will it end?

    Congrats again on your SITS day. Enjoyed reading your posts.

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  57. Whatever happened to manners. Sigh. Darn kids. Wow, I'm old. Ah ha

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  58. Every generation had their temporary, crude behavior with some attitude mixed in. But the young cohorts of today are an exception. This is not a phase or small population, but in fact the majority. It is in fact the CULTURE to be bad, disgusting, materialistic, rude, selfish and superficial. These aren't insults, these are truths. Kids now aren't just dressing in a certain way, they are actually having sex for money, and the list of craziness goes on. So, there may be a chance that that little guy was just being a prick. Chances are, though, this is the norm! Sorry this happened!
    -Robin
    www.roingillis.blogspot.com

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