Monday, July 13, 2009

To Everything There is a Season

My eldest wants a tattoo. She actually wants more than one, but she will settle for one for the moment. How can I tell her no? Legally, in a few months, I can't. She's turning. Eightteen. 18. Ten plus eight. Twenty minus two. Nine times nine. 36 divided by 2. You get the picture.

She's also in love, a senior, planning on college, and moving out at the end of this school year.

When she moves out, she'll also be moving in, or at least she plans to, with him, the boyfriend.

What? What! What?

Yes, I know, there is an entire year in between. Lots can happen. Teenagers are fickle.

Sephie is not fickle. Not one bit. Gullible, maybe, naive, more often than not, fickle? No.

Ready to move out on her own? She can't even boil water for cryin out loud.

Momma is so not ready for this. So not ready.

What happened to my baby? The one who ran out of the room in terror when "The Great Mouse Detective" began, but would slip back in after the scary part...the one who staged Brittany Spears karaoke concerts in her granny's living room...the one who made the "hood" club in fifth grade, one that everyone could join...the next crocodile hunter (oh, she was mighty upset when Steve Irwin had a baby girl)...the one who wanted to try out for American Idol, America's Next Top Model, and run off to Broadway. She's been replaced by this almost 18 year old wanting to make decisions for herself.

I know she's leaving home.

I know she's growing up.

I know she's fallen in love.

And while part of me is rejoicing, hoping she'll wait til after college to marry, designing her wedding dress, and waiting for my first grandbaby (no, not now! at least ten years from now)...

The other part of me wants to lock the door and throw away the key.


  1. I'm so sorry. I know it's such a hard thing to let them be their own people. I'll be there before I know it.

  2. Trust me on this one, it's harder than giving birth, for sure.

  3. It's hard, but one does survive--and actually I like my grown up children much more than I liked them as teen-agers. And then there are the grandchildren. Now that's a perk!

  4. Yeah, I think the giving birth part is the easiest part, sometimes. Oy vey. It'll be okay. She looks smart and beautiful, and she's got a great momma to watch over her. :)

  5. Yeah - first up, she is indeed very beautiful.

    Oh, I feel ya so hard - I am following not TOO far behind - and every step towards new freedoms makes me nuts! I know you'll be ok, and she will too, but that sure doesn't mean it has to be easy.

  6. Ok about the tattoo...Ummmm...I'm all for it. Be apart of it. Go with her to get it. Suggest her first one be put in place out of sight. Yes I realize this is probably not a proper momma thing to say but, then I'm not all that proper. Plus I want more tats-too =)As far as her moving that's where my chest would start to tighten and I would start to feel faint. But I agree with what MiMi wrote and she will be fine. Otherwise you can always nail her foot to the floor. I'll bring the nails and hammer.

  7. In the big picture a tatoo is nothing....maybe if you let her have two now she will stay home? LOL!
    I laugh, but my girls are but 2 years behind her in age and a year in so much to look forward to!

  8. Reading this, I want to put my fingers in my ears and sing "la la la I'm not listening"!

    I have an eleven year old daughter who is off to high school (Australia) next year. That's hard enough for me to cope with!

    I guess all I can say is good luck :)

  9. That's terrifying. I feel like that was not so long ago for me, and I look back and think, "Jeezum Jillien you were only a child. Why did you think the most important choices/events/experiences of your life had to take place so damn early?"

    Me: "How old are you?"...."Oh you're nineteen?! You're just a baby"

    No matter how brilliant I was... How mature I was... How level-headed I was at 18, 19... I was still eternities behind where I am today.

    Ugh a tattoo?!! Why?

    I would try my best to talk her out of that one... Moving out? She can always move back in. Boyfriend? They can always break up, make up--its pliable. A tattoo? FOREVER

  10. Awww...I know I'm going to be a mess when my kids turn 18.

  11. You'll both be fine! (Just teach her a few good recipes so you don't have to worry about her starving. :D ) Is she planning to move far from home?

  12. I don't mind the tattoo, I have one myself (age 22 when I did the deed). It's the whole growing up thing and having responsibility of herself. I'm not sure I prepared her for it all. I don't think you can, exactly. Laala, she won't be moving far, but the actual moving part isn't what gets to me as much as the Oh, I don't know! Grrr...and they say teenagers are hormonal. I think I'm more hormonal than she is right now! Thanks for your support, everyone.

  13. My heart joins yours, sister. I'm sorting through some of the same questions. For both of us, I think this answers rest inside. How do we listen through the sadness, though? How do we listen?

  14. Oh... I have been there. It is so hard to watch them grow up (or at least think they have grown up...)...

    Mine are 19 and 21 (both boys). We have went though the tattoo thing... the "I'm an adult mom"... (when all along you are thinking, "No... no your not!")

    Hang in there! I have trained myself to do my best to enjoy the ride.... even if it is a roller coaster!