Friday, June 5, 2009

Mrs. Jones and Me


"The Diary of Bridget Jones" struck such a chord with me, that I'm amazed it didn't shatter my hurricane proof windows at the time of my viewing. Not only could I relate to her being in her thirties, overweight (yeah, right, I wasn't overweight, I was tothemoonweighted), and single, but I also would suffer through her episodes of painful embarrassment with just as much pain that she was enduring at that moment as well. Heart aches, heart breaks, over joyed, unemployed...you name it, she did it, and, many times, so did I.

Watching Bridget trip across her life was a bit like watching my own, and I'm thinking that was the case for others as well. My drink of choice wasn't vodka straight from the bottle, it was Cosmos (I was a Sex in the City fan as well, der). And yes, I smoked (long skinny menthol), danced, went out all night and came home late in the mornings, and dragged my not so willing butt to work the next day. My friends were as cool, if not cooler, than Bridget's, and yes, I even had a few gay ones as well. We were definitely cooler than everyone else. So, age and weight, (check), wild nights spent with variety of friends (check), painful embarassment...ah...yes.

Admit it, we all have these moments...painful embarrassment. I will be the first to admit that not only have I had moments of painful embarrassment, I have had MANY moments of painful embarrassment. To imbibe, and heavily imbibe in the consumption of alcoholic drinks seems to lend a helpful hand in creating quite a few of these moments. Oh, like the time there was orange juice, cranberry juice, vodka, and bar-b-qued sausage, all consumed at different stages of the evening, and all deciding to make an appearance later on that evening. Together. Holding hands, even. Not the best way to impress (Okay, so this wasn't when I was in my thirties...I was actually like 18, and trying my damnedest to impress what's his name now that I'm a couple of decades older....AND WISER that I now forget who he even was). But being young, clueless, and naive, I forgave myself this one small...teeny tiny...event. Of course, as you age, like wine in a barrel or cheese in a wedge, comes wisdom.

Yep, you learn how to read the signs that state if you have one more fruity cocktail, then you'll learn the true meaning behind "two for the price of one." It is at this point where I will thank the god(s) for sending my friends my way, and of course, vice versa. They saved my ass from many an embarrassing morning after. Oh, like the time in the parking lot...with a beautiful Frenchman...after a night of dancing...pulling me out of the club holding hands...Yes, I fell in love after knowing him for only 29 minutes (You would have as well if he whispering sweet french nothings in your "I haven't been a bad girl in waaaaay too long.") ear. Fortunately for me, Margie and Claudia came tripping along and pulled me away from the Frenchman. I still remember tenderly waving from the window of her car, the tires snick snicking away, while I waved to my Frenchman (who straightened his color and went back in to find another fool...er...victim...er...girl). Ah, friends. Good thing Bridget and I had the best of them, huh?

Fortunately, and after dating a couple of the same guys Bridget had dated (Meet Ben and Jerry), I began the process of settling. Found a job, a good job, one that paid the bills which in turn allowed me to make even more bills, WOO! Found a fella, a good fella (cue Van Morrison singing, "Someone Like You."), one that paid the bills which in turn allowed me to make even more bills. Got married (take that Bridget), and so on and so forth.

My embarrassing moments weren't all sloshed related...like when I sprained my hand trying to wave at someone through a closed window, or each time I wave at someone I don't think I know but maybe I do because I think they are waving at me but in truth they are waving at someone standing in back of me (admit it, you all have done that before). And fortunately, Bridget has gotten over Vodka and Chaka Chan, while I have gotten over Cosmos and Ben and Jerry (well, I still do occassionally visit with Ben and Jerry...they helped me over SOOOO many hurdles ta ha, and girdles). It is still nice to know that we have each other to cry with, aggrieve with, and laugh with.

Ah, Miss Jones.

22 comments:

  1. ahhh, I can totally relate to this post. The whole Bridget Jones thing was me too. (at least until I was 35 and met my hubby to be). But, I wouldn't change the experiences for anything in the world. It made me so much more aware of what I really want out of life, and what I'm not willing to settle for. Although, I cringe sometimes when I think back to particular alcohol related incidents.
    And the ice cream reference...well, I remember one particular bad break up...I used to say...he moved out, and Ben and Jerry moved in!! :-)
    Thanks for a great post!

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  2. I'm with you on still visiting Ben and Jerry!

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  3. Greetings(please don't wave) LOL....!!!
    That is terribly funny and yet sad....sigh, I have had my moments as well, and it is nice to know that mid life (or a bit past mid) gives me time to pause and reflect.

    A delightful post!

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  4. I did the "wave at someone by accident when they were really waving at the chick behind me" yesterday! Felt like an ass!! :-)
    Ah well...I also did a "beer shaking hands with hotdog" moment that I'm not to proud of.
    Macey

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  5. Gah, I'm getting embarrassed all over again just thinking about the time this guy said "Hey! How you doing?" and I, not really recognizing him, but didn't want to be shamed because I couldn't remember him, responded but only to find out he wasn't talking to me.

    Holly, how could we ever dream of forsaking Ben and Jerry...ever!

    Muse, I adore the music on your site. I kept the page open and minimized just so I could listen to it while writing and reading other blogs.

    Mimi, uh huh. Nuff said, right?

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  6. Am I a bad person that I read this whole piece, smiling and nodding in an "oh, yeah, been there..." kind of way, but then got to the sprain-you-hand-waving-through-closed-window part and barked like a seal? I'm so sorry, 'cuz I'm sure it really hurt, but so funny!!
    btw - I tagged you. Please come over to play.

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  7. My youth...well my 20's seem long ago. I married at 30 and settled down quite a bit. My 20's were full of a bit too much to drink and way too many men.....there it's out......sadly it's all true.
    I was a fan of Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw. I was somewhere in the middle, I never dressed as well as Carrie and thankfully I never made as much a fool of myself as Bridget, well at least not on TV!
    Fun post!

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  8. That's what I love about fiction! Its kind of like the names have been changed to protect the innocent or to hide the guilty.

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  9. I had a very painful broken engagement in college. Not long after the ex married someone else, I was watching 'When Harry Met Sally'. When she said, "It isn't that he didn't want to get married, he just didn't want to marry MEEEEEEEE!!!!!" I burst into embarrassing heaving sobs (not gentle little movie sobs)right there in the theater. I said out loud, "Why didn't anyone TELL me???"

    Not a perfect comment here - but it was an embarrassing moment brought on by a movie...

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  10. Oh, Tammy. I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. I can't stop gigglin.

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  11. Oh, that is a sad one, Tammy! Geez...that part of When Harry Met Sally is SAD!
    Alex, I was gonna tell you that I don't want to be a part of the nerd herd...I just want to get them to like me so that I can blow them off with a flick of my wrist and a condescending look, let em taste their own medicine. I'm immature like that. : )
    Macey

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  12. It's so bizarro when you can identify with a movie or a book so well!

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  13. I'm in the days where I HAVE those embarrassing alcohol-related incidents. My friends and I have some stories to tell ayayay.

    I was at a cocktail and I ran into a Frenchman... As a French minor I'm instantly infatuated with anyone who speaks it so I remember slurringly hugging him and saying SPEAK FRENCH TO ME!!!!

    Shawna's Study Abroad

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  14. Ok, look behind you..I am following ...LOL (wink)

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  15. Always loved Bridget! :) Then again, most women can probably relate to her even a little bit...

    Juices, vodka and sausages... Ugh. Not a nice mental picture.

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  16. Holy Craptard?! That's freakin' hilarious. And, don't worry, I know that your comment was being supportive. You're saying I don't need to be in the Nerd Herd. I mean, who really wants their friend to be in a Nerd Herd...? Not me! I was only going after the anonymous beyotch who thought she was pointing out something that I hadn't thought of. Medical condition, schmedical condition. I think she's been schooled...boo ya.
    : )
    Love you Alex the girl!
    : )
    Macey

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  17. wow - you have some great memories to get you through the nursing home years.

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  18. I haven't seen the movie yet but I think that is so funny that you relate to her! Ok, now I want to see it! haha.

    Sounds like you've got a great diary yourself! I'll have to dig around here some more to read the juicy stuff ;)

    I just found your blog through SITS!

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  19. Ben and Jerrys rock.

    I still drink Cosmos once in awhile. I love the sweet drinks.

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  20. No matter how we look at it....Ben and Jerry will ALWAYS be there for us! They will NEVER turn their backs on us!

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  21. Maybe Ben and Jerry should hire us to represent them, huh?

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