One of the things I rarely write about in my blogs is my weekly activities. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm a mommyblogger, but I'm not a mommyblogger. Maybe because I"m a midlife blogger, but I'm not a midlife blogger. My life kind of blends into both. I'm a midlife mommyblogger? No, that doesn't quite fit, although I swear, if chemo pushed me into pre mental pause, some heads are going to roll. I don't plan on going mental pausal until I"m at least eighty. I do often step back and wonder why, knowing that my girls were about to enter high school, having about ten years left to the wonder years with them, being in my late forties and having the house to ourselves, did I start having babies again ( Seph is 18 (almost), Cay is 16 (almost) big big big break Abi is 4 (almost) Gus is 3 (for real) and Ave is 1 (almost).
What the heck?
Oh yeah, we thought the well had gone dry.
Well, it didn't. Boo on You.
Anyway, that leaves me stuck in the middle of some sorts of being the mom getting her daughters ready for college (soon), and being the mom getting her daughter, and soon the sons, ready for pre school. It's a weird place to be. There are times I feel like I don't quite belong in the new mommy pool (boy I forgot how vicious those guys can be) and times I feel like I don't belong in the high school mommy bleachers (band moms, sport moms, cheerleader moms...I just don't fit). We've missed many a football game, band event, and otherwise this year. Sometimes it just isn't feasible bringing a two year old and an infant to a football game. One wants to play kamikaze pilot off of the bleachers while the other wants to nurse and watch the game...at the same time. My husband and I were able to attend some of the events solo, but it was a bit lacking with the family theme. Needless to say, when you have three three and under at home, it also makes it hard to volunteer for booster events (not that I'm Ms. Volunteer of the Month to begin with). And let me tell you this, no one is more judgmental than booster parents when it comes to non booster participators. Erg. On the flip side, there really aren't many women my age birthin babies. And although the birth rate at my workplace has skyrocketed, I don't quite fit in new mommy circle either. I already know what they are trying to learn and when I offer my "Words Of Wisdom," I'm often looked at the know it all hippy dippy chic that doesn't want to drag a three year old to Disney World because I already know that a three year old will only like the first 30 minutes of it and then will whine for the rest of the five hours you're there. Not to mention that, hey, I am the middle aged dippy hippy chic and not the in my twenties young mom that the rest of them are. It's not their fault, really, that I don't quite fit in. I'm not sure I really want to fit in.
Before I go on, let me stop you now! I'm not really complaining. And no, you won't read about me selling my younger children to the black market gypsies, nor will you see me running away in the middle of the night with Vin Disel. There are just some times when I get tired of flying solo (especially since my husband goes to work at 5 a.m. and when he gets off of work he's working on rebuilding our house and doesn't get home til rather late...really late...extremely late...late).
And, in defense of all the booster moms and new mommies, I am a bit of a hermit. I find myself feeling more comfortable wearing mismatched clothing and hair pulled up in a pony tail reading or blah blahing, than I do running off to the nearest craft show or Disney World events. That's just me.
I'm just...
Bored today. I don't feel like it. You know what I mean?
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Oh boy, do I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteI don't fit in, either - and I only have 2 kids, 20 months apart - so the whole big kids/little kids doesn't even come into play for me.
God bless the interwebs and my virtual friends. :-)
Boy can I relate.Being a forty sumpin mom w/ two that are 18 months apart and under 4 years of age. All I end up saying half the time is...sigh...
ReplyDeleteNo kidding.
ReplyDeleteYes I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteI have OTHER PEOPLE bring their kids here just to keep me from having to leave the house.
On the other hand, when Calvin was dx'ed with cancer we got REAL serious about staying home, and sometimes I wish I could support my girls in their school activities. (Or go grocery shopping, or down to the basement to do laundry without worrying...'nother story. Sorry I digress.)
My kids aren't in high school yet, not into sports, clubs, etc. If I'm doing daycare then, we'll cross that bridge...
I could tell you more; about a 12-YO Darling, a newborn Doll, and raging Rheumatoid Arthritis, but I bet you can guess.
We've all been there. (Well, we Older Moms have been there.
Savant, I don't even know how you do half of what you do, and day care to boot. You should write a book.
ReplyDeleteAlex, I had no idea there was such a big gap in the ages of your kids. Mine are close together so I've never really thought about what this would be like. Talk about being caught in the middle. And I wouldn't want to go back to "new Mommyville" for anything. I agree those women are vicious. And not fitting in, I've felt that too. Seems like you are not alone. Hope it helps knowing that!
ReplyDeleteWow, there's a big gap there! But I'm takin' notes, because I could see myself in 15 years being in the same exact spot as you. I think I will want more, I already do and I'm sort of a young mommy. Well, I don't know if it's young or not. I'm 32 and my oldest is 5. I think there's a big difference between me and the 25 year olds out there though. And I'm not a booster mom either. And I won't do Disney until they're old enough to enjoy, remember and not make my life HELL while we're there!
ReplyDeleteMacey : )
I had my kids later, I was 33 and 38 and I've almost always felt like the "old woman", thankfully in recent years I've met many more mom's my age......you know raising teens and surviving menopause simultaneously...........such a crappy combo.
ReplyDeleteI do live near DW, so we've been times than I can tell you, I guess it's the small child in me, I still like it.
There are a lot of over involved psycho moms out there..........no thanks.
Yeah. I know what you mean. My oldest is 10 and my youngest is 1 (almost) and there's a 5 year difference between the two girls and the two boys. So, not EXACTLY the same, but I feel ya.
ReplyDeletegreat post--I guess you're in a niche of your own, but it sounds like a fun place to be. I'm feeling a lot like I don't fit places either. I'm on the verge of being an empty nester, but the kids really haven't gone anywhere, in fact there are more people in my house now than ever. I'm a SAHG (stay at home grandmother) taking care of pre-schoolers. Try going to the park and finding someone that old chasing kids around. I tell you it just doesn't happen! So I too stay at home, wearing my mismatched clothes and chasing toddlers up and down the street :)
ReplyDeleteHey Alex, I owe you a note of thanks for stopping by recently. And YES I am fortunate enough to be stop-mom to Pam of Pam's Perspectives. :-) I've been away for a few days on vacation so I'm just catching up here. And I'm having a serious blond-moment (I'm a redhead, don't ask) so who knows what's coming. Missed you all.
ReplyDeleteI totally feel you on this! I'm younger than the parents at my 13-y-o's school and older than the parents at daycare. We skip out on middle-school stuff all the time because the little kids don't need to go. It's only going to be worse the more activities she gets into in high school. :(
ReplyDelete